


Better Than the Book

by Yurama



Category: Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell, Simon and Simon (TV)
Genre: A writer's development, Borrows small details from Carry On, Characters Reading Fanfiction, Characters Writing Fanfiction, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-07 12:15:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14670891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yurama/pseuds/Yurama
Summary: Deleted scenes of Cath's life before the events of Fangirl.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cath and Wren discover Simon Snow and the World of Mages and, three books in, decide to Google something.

**2001**

_“I recommend giving them an outlet.”_

_“An outlet?”_

_“Yes. Whatever they’ve been through, it’s caused an emotional break. A loss of innocence. Maybe giving them something to believe in will help them gain some of it back.”_

_“Like what?”_

_“A book, maybe. One with magical elements. They’re both so young, maybe showing them a world very different from ours will help them cope.”_

_“You mean like fairy tales? Isn’t that more of a distraction? How will that help?”_

_“Fairy tales are more than a distraction. They are filled with magic and hope. They serve as a reminder that our lives will get better. To us, they are familiar and comforting. But to children, it is all very real.”_

 

* * *

 

“Cath? Wren?”

Cath looked up at their dad. He had just gotten them back home from their third therapy session earlier that afternoon, then stepped out for a couple hours. She and Wren were sitting at the kitchen table working on their school work together when their he returned. They had to make room on the table between their dad’s stacks of papers of ideas for the ad agency.

“I’ve got something for you girls.” From behind his back, he produced a brown paper bag. He pushed a pile of papers out of the way and placed the bag on the table between them. “Go ahead, look inside.”

Cath blinked at it. Her father didn’t usually get them presents unless it was a birthday or holiday.

Wren pulled the bag towards her and stuck her hand inside, pulling out a hardcover book.

“A book?” she asked.

“It’s a book about magicians, I think,” their dad said. “It’s new; the lady in the store recommended it to me. I thought you girls could read it together.”

Wren let the book fall from her hands and onto the table. “No, thanks.”

“Come on, Wren. Cath?”

Cath was staring at the cover. It was beautiful—a book was open on a blue background. Light was bursting from the pages, twisting and swirling together with the blue colors like smoke. Cath’s eyes were dancing all across the cover.

“Cath?”

She looked back at her dad.

“Will you give it a try?” He gave her a small, hopeful smile.

She glanced at Wren, who wasn't even looking at her, her head fixed down towards her homework. Cath nodded.

“Thanks, Cath.” He patted the top of her head once, then headed upstairs.

Cath began looking between Wren and the book. She felt the nervousness and pressure in her stomach. She touched a corner of the book, her thumbnail rifling through the pages. What if Wren got upset if she tried to read it? She took her hand back.

“Oh my God, fine,” Wren said, her head snapping up. “I can _hear_ you begging me.” She took the book and flipped to the first page.

“ _Simon Snow and the Mage’s Heir_ ,” she read.

 

* * *

 

**2006**

Cath was at her desk, on her laptop, scrolling through the internet, browsing fanart of _Simon Snow_. Wren was laying on her bed, her own laptop open to her e-mail. After saving a picture from DeviantArt of Simon and Penelope to her Pictures folder, she glanced over at Wren.

“Anything?” she asked.

Wren didn’t say anything, but Cath knew the answer. Wren had been sitting on her bed with her laptop open for hours. She’d watch Wren open up several internet tabs that would distract her for a few minutes before clicking back to her e-mail and hitting refresh. Each time an empty inbox came up and Wren looked sadder.

“Baz and Simon don’t have moms, either,” Cath said.

“So?”

“So...We have that in common.”

Wren looked up at that, gazing at the posters they had hung up of _Simon Snow_.

“But it’s not the same,” she decided.

“Why not?”

“We don’t even know how they lost their mothers. They probably died. They had no choice.”

Cath frowned. She typed in “what happened to simon snow’s mom?” into her web browser. She scanned the results.

“Come look at this.” She scooched over, making room on her bed and patted the empty space.

Wren sighed, but closed her laptop and crossed the room. Cath held onto her laptop as the bed moved while Wren adjusted herself, grabbing Cath’s pillow and resting her head on half of it.

“There’s this thing here that says that even though there’s three books out, no one knows much about Simon Snow’s parents. He’s is an orphan but GTL hasn’t revealed the identity of his birth parents and even how Baz lost his mother is still a mystery.”

Wren hummed. She watched as Cath clicked back to the search results.

“What’s that one?” Wren asked, pointing at the 9th result. It was titled, “Simon Snow and Baz’s Quest.”

Cath clicked on it and it took her to a website called FanFixx.

“Someone posted a story about Simon Snow?”

The story was written by someone with the username, TheMagePhoebeBunce. Cath’s interest was immediately piqued. She had played around with writing about Simon Snow a few times, even showing some to Wren and their online friends on the Simon Snow message boards. But she had never considered posting them publicly, mostly because she had no idea there was a website dedicated to such a thing.

Wren read the summary of the story out loud. “Simon/Baz. A re-imagining of their first meeting. What if Simon had heard about Baz’s mom before meeting him and came into their dorm room hoping to be friends? What if when Baz heard the stories about ‘the one who was prophesied,’ he was hoping that he would help him on his quest to find out who killed his mother? What if Baz knew a secret about Simon’s mom? Complete. Please read and review.”

“Huh,” Wren said. “Baz and Simon are friends here?”

“I think they’re _more_ than friends, Wren.”

“Oh, shit.”

“But that’s how it happens in the movies, right?” Cath said. “The boy and girl hate each other at first and then they get to know each other and they change their minds and fall in love.” Truthfully, Cath loved the idea of them together. They were contrasting personalities, opposites to each other, yet still complimenting.

“True.” Wren scrolled to the middle of the story. “But they definitely wouldn’t bond over cherry scones and butter.” She laughed.

“Yeah, the dialogue is ridiculous here,” Cath said, scrolling further down. “Look at this—Baz would never say, ‘scrummy food, ey, Snow?’ It’s like they pulled that word right out of a British slang dictionary.”

“Yeah, that’s fucking weird,” Wren said.

“They would probably bond over something they had in common—Oh, Wren!” Cath gasped and her hand gripped Wren’s arm.

“What?”

“ _That’s_ what they have in common.”

Wren paused before answering, her eyes narrowed. “Dead moms?”

Cath didn’t answer; she opened a Word doc and started typing.

 

* * *

 

_Simon burst into his room, with what remained of his cape flowing behind him. Baz came in after him, shutting the door to their room. Simon fell on his bed, clutching the torn piece of fabric to his face._

“Mmm…” Wren said. Cath stopped writing.

“What?”

Wren moved her hands onto the keyboard, deleted the last sentence Cath wrote, and began typing. 

 _Simon curled on his bed like a wounded unicorn foal, holding the torn piece of green_ _velvet to his tear-stained face._

Cath nodded. “Yeah, I like that better.”

Wren pushed the keyboard back to her. “You write the next part. You’re better at dialogue.”

 

* * *

 

Reviews for  Friends for Life—and After

 

destiny    chapter 1 **.** _August 26, 2006_

i want 2 no if baz’s mom (not stepmom) and dad r going 2 b in this. it’s a good story.

 

Magesimon    chapter 1 **.** _August 5, 2006_

You guys should write more!

 

MagikMillE- Mage Master    chapter 1 **.** _August 4, 2006_

love it

 

Cath was ecstatic. Three weeks had gone by since she and Wren posted their fanfic and they had a total of three reviews on it. She was hesitant at first. She had felt nervous at the idea that anyone could read her work and comment on it. What if they didn’t like it? Cath had loved writing it; she’d loved writing it with her sister even more. It was different than going on the Snowflakes forums and writing short snippets for the friends she had made on there. They were only 100 words or so—drabbles—of scenes in the books she wished had gone one way, or a blurb inspired by something someone had said in the forums that made her laugh and she had to write it out. It had taken her a few weeks since Wren had brought up the idea to her to post it on FanFixx. They had both already made accounts before that so they could write reviews on the fanfiction they read. Each time Cath had stared at the upload button, trying to convince herself to click it, all while feeling the uneasiness build up in her stomach. Eventually, a fed-up Wren had grabbed the laptop from her and clicked the button herself. Cath had cried then, feeling sick and spilling out her worries to Wren.

“I hope no one comments!” she had said. “I won’t have to worry about bad reviews if there aren’t any at all.”

But now she took those words back. There were only three reviews, but she thought that they were positive. She went to show Wren the latest one.

“I know it was supposed to be a one-shot, but maybe we can continue. I haven’t thought of how Baz’s stepmom would play into it,” Cath said.

“ _Or_ we start a new one,” Wren replied. “I have an idea for another fic.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cath suffers from writer's block.

**2010**

Magicath

_12 hours ago_

Hey guys, thanks for all the feedback on mine and Wrenegade’s last fic “Tyrannus Basilton, Son of Pitch.” We really appreciate it! But I really want to know what else you guys want me to write about next, as a thank you for 1,000 hits. Leave a comment and I’ll do my best to reply soon!

 

_Write a comment below…_

 

xXxLuna_MagexXx _• 7 hours ago_

Gah! You are the best!!

            Magicath _• 6 hours ago_

            Thank you!

 

kittykitty-1997 _• 5 hours ago_

You both deserve all the hits GO MAGICATH GO MAGICATH and how about one with baz’s pov?

            Magicath _• 5 hours ago_

            Noted. Thanks for your comment!

 

Cassie _• 2 hours ago_

Hmm, vampire feeding frenzy??

            Magicath _• 2 hours ago_

            Great idea, thanks!

 

Ms. Zen _• 2 hours ago_

Congrats on hitting 1000! Honestly I just want the last chapter of The Wrong Idea to come out. Very excited!

            Magicath _• 2 hours ago_  
            I promise to work on that soon. Thank you for your comment!

 

DarkMagikGirl _• 15 min ago_

Harry potter AU lol

 

Cath chuckled at that last one. The World of Mages was very jokingly considered an alternate universe to The Wizarding World in the Simon Snow fandom, since Gemma T. Leslie was inspired by it. But ever since she got into Snowbaz, she couldn’t read GTL’s books the same anymore. Cath could give every interaction they had together a hidden meaning, or find a subtext for their love.

Simon’s obsessing over every one of Baz’s moves in the fifth book had fed Cath’s inner fangirl, producing one of her personal favorite fics of hers, “Baz, You Like It.” That one had a few chapters, ending with Baz and Simon becoming boyfriends. But a reviewer had accused her of making Baz “too OOC” and even though it was one negative review in a sea of positive ones, it was stuck on Cath’s mind, blocking her from working on the last chapter of her latest fic, “The Wrong Idea.” She was wringing her hands over how to make it seem like their love was authentic. She’d tried asking Wren, but she had only told her about her last boyfriend. He was one of those “rocker” guys she’d seen around school, who wore skinny jeans and had his hair hung over one side of his face. They had dated for a couple months until one day he had given her a locket for their two-month anniversary and Wren decided that they were becoming too serious too fast. The story hadn’t sounded very romantic, or at least, not romantic enough to be of help in Simon and Baz’s epic love saga.

Cath opened the Word doc for the final chapter of “The Wrong Idea.” It was blank, save for the chapter’s title.

Cath also had the idea to pose the question to her readers, which is what she did in the author’s notes of the previous chapter. One reviewer, by the username, zodiac vampireBasilton had responded. They’d written, “hey :) great story you have, I really love it. Don’t listen to people who say you can’t write snowbaz, they just don’t get it. Who cares if he’s a little Out Of Character?? That’s the friggin point, he has to be to love Simon! It’s a different interpretation to the character.” Their response had cheered Cath up a little. Wren had agreed with them.

“Everyone just makes it up, the whole love thing. Some are just better at faking it,” she had said.

Still, her cursor on the blank Word doc blinked at her. She didn’t even know how to _pretend_ to be in love. She tied her hair up to keep it out of her way, as if that was what was blocking her from completing her fic. Cath sighed. Nothing was going to get done if she didn’t start writing.

 _Nothing was right_ , she typed. She hit the back arrow key a few times.

_Nothing was going right._

The bedroom door opened then.

Perfect timing, she thought. A welcomed distraction from the fear of hundreds of disappointed fans bubbling in her stomach. But when she didn’t hear Wren come into the room, she looked over. Wren was idling by the doorway, her brows knitted together.

“What’s wrong?” Cath asked.

“It’s Dad. He won’t get out of his car.”

 

* * *

 

When the EMT’s arrived and were finally able to get their dad in the ambulance to transfer him St. Richard’s, one of them asked Cath and Wren if they had someone to look after them for a while. Cath was trying to hold back her tears, so Wren answered.

“We called our grandma but she’s out of town. She’ll be here tomorrow morning. We’ll be fine on our own for one night.”

The EMT nodded. He looked like he wanted to say something, anything, to reassure them. But anything he said would probably be a lie and Cath didn’t want to hear it. She went back to her room. Wren’s bed was closer than hers. She collapsed on it, crying, covering her face with her hands. Wren came in just when her sobs had started to die down and she was sitting up in bed.

Wren joined her, taking both of Cath’s hands in hers. “He _will_ be fine,” she said with conviction.

Cath hiccuped. She knew Wren was right. This was the third time their father had lost it, but it was worse than the others. It happens for a number of reasons. This time, it was his job. Her dad was probably in his car for hours—and he would have stayed longer if Wren hadn’t found him—surrounded by millions of papers. He must have been too far gone if Wren couldn’t talk him down. He had snapped and cursed at the EMT that tried to move the papers that were strewn across the seats. They had to talk him down enough to get him out of the car and then carried him to the ambulance. Cath heard two of the EMTs talking, saying that her dad’s pages had been filled with nonsense, like a random stream of conscience.

“I’m like him,” Cath whispered, feeling lost, like she was floating far away.

Wren squeezed her hands, a reminder that she was here. “You’re not.”

“I am. I’m crazy like him.” It had driven her mad earlier, seeing that blank Word doc, and she thought of her dad filling up those papers like just seeing a blank page unsettled him.

“But what if I am? It’ll probably get worse in few years. Or maybe I won’t see it coming.” Her breaths were coming out in sharp jerks now.

Her sister stayed with her until she calmed down. “If it tries to take you,” Wren said, “I won’t let go.”

It’d be okay if you did, Cath thought, I wouldn’t blame you...Mostly. But she squeezed Wren’s hands in return, holding them until she woke up the next morning.

 

* * *

 

 

Cath began typing the next chapter. She wrote for hours, until she could feel Simon and Baz, guiding her, practically feeding her the words.

 _And sometimes you held somebody’s hand just to prove that you were still alive, and that_ _another human being was there to testify to that fact_.  

Cath was unbound. With every written word she felt the tight, uneasy pressure to please her readers loosen. When she was able to immerse herself, she forgot about their expectations. The sticky black mess in her stomach faded and she felt a warm blooming in her chest.

 

Reviews for The Wrong Idea

 

VeryEasilyThrown   chapter 8 **.** _January 27, 2010_

Wow. Just...wow. You are absolutely one HELL of a writter! I was really looking forward to this chapter after the last one and WOW you definitely did not disapoint!

 

Miki   chapter 8 **.** _January 27, 2010_

Come oooon Baz! You can't resist his blood for looong! :'D Great ending, I can’t believe it’s over! DX

 

WoM   chapter 8 **.** _January 27, 2010_

This was sooooooo good. I've been stalking this fic everyday for the final chapter and I was not disappointed! This was the only fic I kept up with and I love it so much. Thank you!

  
CherrySconesandButter    chapter 8 **.** _January 27, 2010_

OH NO I SPOKE TOO SOON. I SPOKE TOO SOON. I wasn't ready for the end!!

 

Natsuki Yamamoto   chapter 8 **.** _January 27, 2010_

Oh wow, love the ending! That's so awesome! Please keep on writing and congratz for finishing! :D

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading until the end, I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> This fic was based off of the idea that fanfiction had played a key role in Cath's development as a writer and how encouraging a fandom's community can be. The comments were influenced by ones I've had on my own fics in the past, the vast majority of which was positive, and it put me on the path to wanting to be a writer.
> 
> Also, in case you are curious, I referenced two of Cath's fanfics from the book. Her earliest entry, "Friends for Life--And After," I interpreted as her first fanfic ever, inspired by her mom. The second one I referenced was "The Wrong idea," which I interpreted to be based on Cath and Wren's bond. The idea behind these interpretations was that, despite her telling Professor Piper that she didn't write about herself, we all draw from our own experiences when we write. And Cath, despite having never felt the love between soulmates that she writes for Simon and Baz, she has experienced unconditional love before.


End file.
